There are many ways to organize time as a writer.  We can skip ahead,
we go backwards, we can stay in one place and tread water. This months lessons explore ways of manipulating time in a story or essay.

K-2 Words That Move the Story

Primary writers tend to organize time the same way they do life—one moment at a time.  The word then moves one moment to the next.  Here’s a simple lesson to help from Ralph Fletcher and Joanne Portalupi’s fine  book Craft Lessons  ( Stenhouse 1998)

Brainstorm a list with your class of all the words you can use to move ahead in your story.  Words like

The next day
Two weeks later
Later that morning.

Tell your class these words and phrases can be used to advance time in your story.  You can leave out the boring bits and skip to the good stuff.

3-4  Slow Motion Moments

Slow Motion Moments.   When do they use slow motion in a movie?  The good bits, the dramatic parts , the moments where something is at  stake.  It’s the same way in writing.

Explode a Moment
If you were a movie director making a film of your life, where would you  use slow motion?

Think of happy moments, sad moments, joyful moments. Talk with friends and trigger each other with ideas.  When you are ready, fill a piece of paper with that one moment.

Don’t  go to the next day or later that same day.  Stick inside that moment.
Don’t write big or add extra words just to fill the paper.  Instead, allow yourself to get stuck then try out some of these ideas.

   Use your binoculars: zoom in with sights, sounds, smells, tastes.

Read your last sentence.  If it’s a snapshot, try switching to thoughtshots,   or if it’s all thoughtshots, try switching gears and adding snapshots.

If you finish half-way down the page, go back and insert a  snapshot or a thoughtshot.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself there.   Wait for words to come.

Here are a few quick suggestions of moments to explode.  Make a list of your own while talking with your classmates.

If you like to write in slow motion, try going back into one of your stories and find a slow motion moment to explode . Put an arrow at the moment , get a blank piece of paper and get to work.

Some examples

I nervously boosted my body upon the giant animal. My hands were shaking as I took the soft leather reins.  I could feel a drop of sweat trickle down my pale face.  My parched throat seemed like a sandy dessert.  The ground beneath me began to quiver. My heart was in my throat.  The wind seemed to be teasing and hissing.   The dusty saddle beneath me jerked. I’d have to go through with it.  The white painted rail seemed as tall as a building.  I gave the giant a kick and one word came out of my mouth. “Canter!” The wind took my hair as I approached the jump rapidly.  As my hands let go of the reins I clung to the saddle with my limp legs.  I spread my arms like eagles wings.  I was flying.  Suddenly I hit the ground. My hands immediately grasped the dusty mane.  I did it! I clung to the horses neck. Tears in my eyes formed! I love horses.

4th grade

I went to my parent’s bathroom where I found my dad.  He was taking the shaving cream out and cologne even though he had already shaved.  I thought he was going to shave again but after what seemed an hour he put them into a box.  Everything for his hair and face was in that box and so were my thoughts.   I looked at him by only saw his jeans because I was only as tall as his knees.  Then I looked at him staring wide-eyed
and asked, “What are you doing.”  I was lied to when he said he was visiting a friend that afternoon. After he packed his box he put it with other boxes and went downstairs. After a while of peace I heard yelling and screaming from my mom and dad. Then my dad put the boxes and his suitcases in his car.  He said goodbye and drove away.

5th grade

From the Reviser’s toolbox   Discover Writing Press (to order click here)

5-8 Tinting Moments with a Feeling
Brian Honeker, from Stanford, Kentucky, exploded a fearful moment as he remembered it as a child.    Notice how the surprise at the end of this moment works because of how well Brian wrote in slow motion.   Remove 3 sentences and read it to your class.  Notice how much weaker the piece gets.

Here’s a fun exercise.  Describe your room as if you had just won the lottery.  Don’t mention the lottery or how you feel.  Just describe.  Describe the same room as if you just witnessed a murder.  Don’t mention the murder.  Just describe.    Look for a place in your story where you can tint a moment with feelings.

I stood motionless at the point where my road began.  The nighttime air chilled me as I contemplated the first step.  I looked ahead and saw the luminous moon in the sea of stars about me.   The dim light shown against the pavement almost glowing.  The baying of a hound in the distance inspired everything that could possibly happen tonight.   My chest throbbed with the voice of the drum.  Shadows danced before each one taking on its unique ghostly form.  Trees became savage demons with razor teeth and grasping claws.  The road became a snake beneath my feet that slithered up and down the hills before me.

I stepped faster. I heard my own footsteps as if they were someone else’s.   I turned to look behind me and saw nothing but cool night air.  I continued to walk as visions of one-eyed freaks and monsters filled my mind.   I looked into the distance.  From what seemed miles away I could see a light that could only be my house.  I broke into a run.   Anything and everything that could exist was probably hot on my heels.  A half-step closer would surely mean death. I ran with my hands grasping ahead for the doorknob.  I found it and slowly turned it.  It slammed shut behind me.   I looked outside to see the moon full in the sky.  Your first time walking home in the dark is a big deal when you're seven.

9-12   Shrinking time

Novelist Mark Smith once said, “Sometimes it’s ok to say after 20 years he came back from Brazil.”  We can skip ahead and shrink time if it helps move the story along. Likewise we can compress a large amount of time into a  paragraph or a page or two. We can compress time. Here’s Charles Dickens doing it in a Tale of Two Cities.

Try shrinking a period in your life into a paragraph or a page or look for a place in your story to compress time.  Begin by characterizing that time with one word than search for some specific examples to help illustrate that word.  Poet Andy Green used the word stupid to write the poem beneath about 8th Grade.