Lesson Plans Archives, March-April 2001

Why We Must Run with Scissors

Voice Lessons in Persuasive Writing K-12

Parody is a great tool for teaching, because to be good at it requires a deep and rich understanding of your subject. Humor and Truth (even silly truth) are sisters and these lessons promote ways to linking the two to teach persuasive writing.

This months lessons come directly out of Barry Lane's  latest book ( Why we Must run with Scissors. For more information, or to preorder a copy, please click HERE.

 K-4
Outrageous Opinions

                                                                                        Oscar Wilde

The Point: Real opinions live deep within all of us but gaining access to them can sometimes be a complex and harrowing process. Outrageous opinions, however, grow on the surface like fungus and daytime TV talk shows. It has been said that America is held together by a loose tapestry of outrageous opinions. Actually, it hasn’t been said till now and that’s how you feel when you have strong opinions: like your view of the world is unique and important. Mining this opinion field rich in gems can be a great way to get your students motivated to later dig deeper for their own real opinions. This makes first lesson a great group brainstorming activity as well as an individual activity.

Teaching it: 

Did you ever hear someone say, "Well everybody KNOWS that…" and then say something really bone-headed? Like this: "Everybody KNOWS that reading damages your brain." In the next five minutes, see if you can come up with five or more of these outrageous opinions, opinions that can be completely disproven.

Note: One trick to finding outrageous opinions is to flip-flop normal ones. Example: Instead of Never read in the dark.

Always read in the dark.

Debriefing: Was it fun thinking up outrageous opinions? Which opinions are the most outrageous? Which seem almost true?

Resources:

The Way Things Really Work , Henry Beard. (Viking Penguin, 1998) This spoof of the way things work shows graphic cartoons for outrageous) opinions

 Student responses:

Kids who play with matches never get burned.

Cafeteria food should be much more expensive.

Dogs should run for president.

Glue is delicious.

Taco Bell is real Mexican food.

The buses here always run on time.

Every cigarette you smoke adds 10 seconds to your life.

Drinking is good for your general health.

It’s okay to steal, as long as you don’t get caught.

Kids should always pick their own bedtimes

Spin-offs:

• Make a large poster of your outrageous opinion. Hang them in the halls to confuse other classes.
• Make a T-Shirt or bumper sticker to show off your outrageous opinion.
• Create a skit to act out your outrageous opinion. This could also evolve into a 30 second TV commercial that you put on video tape.
• Watch TV commercials for an hour and write down the opinions of each commercial.

.Example: Toothpaste makes your teeth brighter.

Mountain Dew gives you energy

Are any of these opinions outrageous?

Younger students

• Collect all the classes' outrageous opinions and make a children’s book with each opinion in a sheet protector in a 3 ring binder.
• Get out a soap box (milk crate or chair) and practice standing on it and proclaiming your opinion. To do this well you must stand on the box, raise one hand in the air and speak loud with great conviction.
• Draw a picture that gets across your opinion without using any word.

 5-12
Defending an Outrageous Opinion

"Why does man kill? He kills for food and frequently there must be a beverage."

                                                                                          Woody Allen

The Point:

Defending a ridiculous idea is a good rehearsal for defending a position that’s not authentic (for example, the state writing test). Drama can bring delight and joy to a not so joyful assignment. This lesson will help your students learn the joy of faking it.

Teaching it:

ALL CHILDREN SHOULD DRIVE CARS.

See that list of Outrageous Opinions on the wall?

Pick out one that you’d NEVER in a million years actually argue for. Imagine that somehow, you now want to advocate it. Write a letter to someone in authority and tell them why you think it’s a seriously good idea. For this letter, don’t write the whole letter. Only write the beginning, and one reason you "believe" the way you do. Explain that one reason fully. You don’t need to develop it further than just one reason, just to see how you sound.

Make your voice sound as believable as you can by coming up with facts, stories or images to back up your outrageous idea.

(write for ten minutes)

Debriefing: Was it hard to defend your opinion? What is your favorite back up detail?

Student responses:

 Dear City Councilman,

The rule, the wearing of shoes indoors will be prohibited that you would like to enforce is an extravagant idea. I support it all the way. I have often wanted to take my shoes off indoors, but have not because of embarrassment. Many problems can be prevented with this rule.

I know 93.7% of people in the U.S. have carpet in their houses. How many times have you heard your mother yell, "You just tracked mud all over the floor. Now you need to clean it up." Well, I have heard it often. And let me tell you something, mud is not easy to get out of carpeting. If we had that rule, carpet in homes, schools, office buildings and stores will last a lot longer and will not have as much dirt.

Imagine that you are in a hurry and you're shopping for clothes in a mall. You go into Dillard's and try an outfit on. Now, you have to put your shoes back on, run to another store, take off your shoes to change, put them back on when you're done, then go to another store and so on and so on. Shoes take me the longest to put back on, because I have to sit on the floor (not all stores have seats in the changing rooms) and lace up my shoes and stand back up. If we were not allowed to wear shoes in stores, then that would be one less thing to slow us down and worry about. It would also be more comfortable to walk around the mall, especially if you are wearing high heeled shoes that day.

Since you wouldn't wear your shoes as often, they would be able to last a lot longer. This means, those leather boots you have in your closet that are all scuffed up and look old could have had a much longer life span. You could have used the money you would have saved, instead of buying another pair, and spent it on a CD, makeup, or on gifts for your teacher! You could save a lot of money that way.

So you see, passing and enforcing this rule would save you time, money and you would be able to be comfortable. Working Mothers and Fathers would love you for helping them have a few less things to think about. If the rule is passed, life will be a lot easier to live.

Sincerely,

Suzanne Koenig

 Resources:

Let’s Pave the Stupid Rainforests and Give School Teachers Stun Guns and Ways to Save America, by Ed Anger (1996, Broadway Books, NY) Ed Anger lives up to his name. He is a perfect example of over the top opinion.

Letters from a Nut, Ted L. Nancy These silly letters written to serious corporations, model how even the most outrageous requests are taken seriously by those paid to do so.

Spin-offs:

• Try delivering your opinion as a speech without cracking a smile.
• Write an outrageous editorial or op ed piece. See if you can give some rationality to your outrageous opinion.
• Read a selection from letters from Letters from a Nut by Ted Nancy AKA Jerry Seinfeld. Ted writes outrageous request letters to unsuspecting institutions.

Example: " I wanted to know if you possibly found a Prussian military sword that I think I may have left in your hotel restaurant the night of Saturday, July 7^th."

Ted Nancy

What’s funny is that they write back serious replies. Though we might not want to encourage this behavior it can be a powerful way to show students their voice can be heard. Ask your students to write their own silly request letter to a celebrity or company or whoever. Make sure to include plenty of evidence and reasons for the company to honor your request. Send the letter and see what happens. File the letters and responses in a classroom binder.

 Younger Students

• Make ad posters to support your outrageous opinion

• Write and shoot a 30 second commercial. for your outrageous opinion. Target a disbelieving audience. Appendix 00 TV Commercial Tips

Submit Student Work

Has your student written something you think should be published? Try submitting it to us and we will try to use it in a future Discover Writing Press publication. We are particularly interested in funny writing or satirical research papers. See 5-8 lessons. You can submit the work electronically by email or snail mail.  Just click HERE.

 Make sure the student’s age and home address is on each piece mailed so we can send home permission forms to the student’s parents.